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Dedeita-Dorothee

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    The only thing that destroyed my whole world, the thing that broke me apart, the thing that I can not get used to was your death. Everyday it gets in my head, every second I come to realize that losing you was the thing that made me weaker, I wake up every morning hoping it is just a really bad dream, each summer I keep telling myself "He will show up at the airport", he's not dead, and each summer for five years now you don't. I only want another year with you, a month, an hour, a minute. I won't talk, I will spend it listening to you. God there is nothing left of you. The last shirt that you wore is hanging in my closet, your smell is gone, I've got nothing but your pictures, it is not enough. After you left me everything got ruined, nothing is the same anymore, even me, I'm not the same. And I will never get used to the fact that you are dead, I won't get used to not telling you what's going on in my life, I will never forget how save it was when you were around, to spend a whole day making fun of everything, to wake up and find out that you are waiting for me down stairs waiting for me, to have breakfast while sitting in your lap, and it didn't embarrass me in anyway that I was eighteen. I was fearless when you were around and now I'm twisted. #Miss_You
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I Remember #Grandfather by Dedeita-Dorothee, journal